My Mission For You:

Don't let #Doubt extinguish your #Sparks. Find the #Sparks you need to ignite your stories, dreams, and life.

Friday, September 25, 2015

Blogger Interview with Lisa Thomson / The Great Escape



I am so happy to have Lisa Thomson on my blog today. She is a wonderful friend who I met through our blogs and a great writer. On The Great Escape, she blogs about divorce and relationships. Even though I’m not going through a divorce, I always enjoy reading her posts because of their truth. They help me to deal with other hard spots in my life and especially my past. 

Welcome, Lisa!


Lisa: Thanks for having me as a guest on your blog, Chrys. Yours is one of my favorite blogs to read!

Chrys: That's very sweet of you to say. Let's  begin, shall we? :)


1. Can you tell us about your blog The Great Escape?

Lisa: The Great Escape blog began as an extension of my self-help book of the same name; the goal being to help women starting their divorce process. I started the blog in October, 2011. It was (is) a way to communicate with my potential book readers. I was told that I had to have a blog if I was an author and you know what? I didn’t know what a blog was earlier that year. I share tips for divorce navigation, health and recovery as well as inspirational stories. My goal is to educate, entertain and show women they can come out of this experience a strong and healthy woman.

From Lisa's recent blog post. Click Image.

2. On your blog and in your book (A Girl’s Guide to Leaving a Marriage), you openly talk about your divorce. What made you decide to be so candid about this private and emotional time in your life?

Lisa: Sometimes I ask myself that same question, LOL. Seriously though, I was going through so much crazy stuff at the time and my divorce was turning out to be a complete nightmare. I had hoped to remain friends with my ex and get through the divorce without high conflict. What I was learning early on is, divorce is an extremely difficult process and we feel very alone in it.

I started journaling so I could channel my frustration. After a year of journaling, I had an ‘aha’ moment. I thought, why not write a book to help women who have decided to end their marriage but don’t know where to begin? That’s who I was initially and I remember I couldn’t find any helpful books. Most of the books talked about recovering your broken marriage etc. Plus, women who decide to end their marriage don’t get as much support from family and friends. There’s this underlying attitude that says “That’s what you chose, so too bad…” For example, I experienced many questions about ‘why’ I left, and quite frankly, it’s no one’s business but your own. People still have this inherent belief that unless he beats you, why would you leave. You must be selfish. I say we stop waiting for a catastrophe, let’s value ourselves more than that.

On that same theme, we still expect men to leave and women to be the victim. Look no further than pop culture.

So, as woman if we decide to leave, we throw that stereotype on its head. My book aims to bridge that gap of support.

A Girl's Guide to Leaving a Marriage by Lisa Thomson

BOOK LINKS:
Amazon / Goodreads

3. What was your very first blog post? 

Lisa: My very first blog post was titled simply, “Welcome” Haha. It was a way for me to introduce myself and explain why I wrote my book. 

4. Many of your readers are all going through divorce or a hard time in their relationships, what advice do you give them most often?

Lisa: Most often I encourage my readers to take the chance to improve their life. I remind them to listen to their instincts. I also listen carefully to what people tell me in their messages. Some women are still in love with their husband but are very frustrated with where their marriage is at. I always recommend counseling for these couples because divorce isn’t always the clear cut answer. I also hear from women who are in mentally abusive marriages and they want out but don’t know where to begin. So, my advice is very personal to each woman’s situation.

5. What are the top 5 most-viewed posts on your blog?






6. You also write for Huffington Post, can you tell us your experience with that?

Lisa: Writing for HuffPost Divorce is really great exposure. However, that said they don’t always feature your posts, so you have to work the social media connections pretty hard to get the exposure you’re hoping for. It’s easy to get lost in the sea of amazing bloggers. On the other hand, when you’re featured you must be prepared for Trolls.

7. Share your number one tip to bloggers just starting out.

Lisa: Definitely visit lots of blogs in your niche. Those blogs are likely to have your target audience. That said, don’t be spammy. Be considerate, like you would at any social event.

Oh, and don’t take it personally when someone rejects your submission or doesn’t reciprocate your interactions. Just hold your head high and move on. You will find your tribe.

Escapee Badge

Hyper Round:

1. Favorite time to post blogs? Mornings

2. Blogger or Wordpress? Wordpress

3. Do you host guests? Not enough

4. Where are you when you’re blogging? At my desk that faces a bank of windows. It’s in the same room as the television which can be problematic.



BIO:

When Lisa separated from her husband in 2005, she found very few books that told her what divorce was really like.  In 2007, Lisa set out to write a self help guide for women ending their marriages and was sure to include her own personal stories and experiences, so women could get a realistic impression of what divorce is all about. Throughout the book, Lisa encourages you to “choose joy” and be a “hero in your own life”.  A must read for the economically dependent spouse thinking about ending their marriage.

Currently, Lisa resides happily in Vancouver, B.C. with her common law husband of six years. Her 3 children are in their 20’s and are wonderful humans, proof positive that children can thrive in spite of divorce. When Lisa isn’t writing you can find her at the beach, in yoga class, or at her painting easel with a glass of wine in hand. 


LINKS:


Lisa: Thank you so much for hosting an interview with me, Chrys. 


Thank you for taking the time to chat with me, Lisa! I'd love to have you back.

Please leave Lisa a comment. :)

QUESTION: Do you have a divorce-related question for Lisa?


55 comments:

  1. Hello, I enjoyed meeting Lisa Thomson thank you for having her own as it gave me a new blog to visit. Have a nice week and I will visit again soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for stopping over to my little blog :) Have a great weekend!

      Delete
    2. Thanks for stopping by my blog and Lisa's blog! :)

      Delete
  2. I've seen some nasty divorces, wasn't pretty. Why I stay single and just have cats lol much less stress hahaha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're obviously a wise man, Pat ;) Most divorces are nasty, at least they all start that way. I've seen that in time, divorced couples can become amicable again. So, there is a little hope.

      Delete
    2. I'm single and just have cats too, but one day I'd like to have a marriage. And I'd hope to not have to go through a divorce, but you can't ever truly know if you will or not. My parents divorced when I was a teen and it was very mutual. They had stayed together as long as they did for us kids, but they lived on separate sides of the house, so it was as if they already were divorced.

      Delete
  3. Sorry about the trolls.
    That someone would ask why you left is just rude.
    Hope your blog and book helps many others, Lisa.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Alex! It really is rude and I was surprised at the people who were asking. They were some of the people closest to me and who used to complain that my husband was a big jerk, while I was married to him---LOL.

      Delete
    2. Your blog and book are amazing. I read her book and passed it on to a friend who said it was very helpful. I'm sorry to say, Lisa, that she's not much of a reader and probably won't ever write a review. She hasn't even read or reviewed my short stories! :P

      Delete
  4. Interesting interview and it appears that Lisa has found a needed niche to address and is helping women...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Sage, thank you for reading and commenting. Yes, I have definitely found a great outlet and method to help so many women and men, too. It feels great to put my experience (both good and bad) to productive use. Thanks for reading!

      Delete
    2. She sure has. Thanks for leaving a comment, Sage!

      Delete
  5. Very interesting topic to write about; I can see why it could be well received, especially if there were not a lot of books about going through a divorce before. Hopefully something I won't ever have to read to take the advice from, but wishing Lisa success with it :)

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's not a book topic you find often and I think that's because many people don't want to discuss it. But Lisa has done something great with her book and blog. :)

      Delete
    2. Hi Betty, thanks for commenting. All the books at the time we very clinical. Psycho-speak. Not exactly telling of the experience from a personal point of view. That's what I needed and I hope I've provided with my book. Oh, I know what you mean and you probably won't have to read a book like mine :)

      Delete
  6. Nevermind the 'meanies' (trolls), Lisa, the general topic of your work is vitally important in a world where divorce is a matter of course, though talking about it is not. I've enjoyed your blogs and thoughtful expressions of realizing that no one ever intends to make a mistake; male or female, and accepting that is the first step to getting past it. You've a powerful voice, Lisa. Don't ever stop talking! :-)
    Chrys, what a stirring interview! Thanks for sharing your friend with us :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great comment, Diedre! I couldn't have said it better myself.

      You're welcome. I'm glad you found this insightful. And I love sharing my friends. The two of you would get along greatly. :)

      Delete
    2. Thank you so much Diedre! What a lovely compliment. I always say, if I help one person I've accomplished my goal. Of course I want to help many :)

      Delete
  7. Hi Chrys and Lisa - a really useful book I imagine ... the points you bring over resonate with me. I was glad to get out of mine relatively unscathed. So good luck and I'm sure many will read and learn from your thoughts ... instincts should be brought to the fore more often. Cheers Hilary

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Hilary, Thank you! Yes, our instincts tend to get numb and we stop listening to the very voice that has all the answers. That was my experience and so I hope to rekindle that voice in others.

      Delete
    2. Hi, Hilary! I'm glad your divorce went well considering the alternative. Hugs!

      Delete
  8. This is excellent! You are so right that unless the guy is abusive you should be always happy to be with him. I am still good friends with my ex and he would come at 2am to help me if I need it and vice versa but when people meet my ex and hear what he does they look at me and say...Why would you want to leave him? He is so nice. I feel like I am not only judged but they are waiting to execute me. When i tell him how he was as a marriage partner, not a friend, they begin to see the light. He sucked at being a marriage partner and didn't want any responsibility that takes, he likes to be present for a couple of hours and then be off and on his own. I grew and realized what I truly wanted. Now i have a wonderful hubby where we fight, disagree, laugh and all the rest but I feel free to do this whereas before, I felt I could not. My hubby has his faults as do I but we work as a team. I think it's great that you wrote a book about divorce and that it's OK if he is not a true jerk or abusive but just a jerk to you...I guess:) Loved reading this

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There are so many reasons to leave a marriage. Abuse is a BIG one but not always the reason. I'm glad you and your ex get along and are there for each other, Birgit. That's wonderful! And congrats on finding a winner. :)

      Delete
  9. Hi Birgit, Thank you for sharing your story. Exactly. People want to judge who and why you left but unless they're in your shoes---they don't know. I'm happy to hear you and your ex are on such wonderful terms. The fact that he's a better friend than a husband is interesting because when our ex isn't our friend after divorce, we sometimes wonder if we ever were friends. Sounds like you have a happy and healthy marriage now! Awesome!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Chrys, you are so good an interviews and this one is no exception.
    Thanks for a great read.
    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Interesting topic. It's so true that when you go looking for a book on a certain subject and don't find it, perhaps you were called to write it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kizmet, destiny....hmmm. I agree, Liz. I reached a point where I thought I wouldn't finish it and I felt defeated. I pushed on by some power outside myself. Thanks for your thoughtful comment. :)

      Delete
    2. So true and great advice for writers too.

      I'm so glad that you pushed yourself to finish your book, Lisa!

      Delete
  12. You're doing a great service for women with your book, Lisa. Good for you, and it's wonderful that things have worked out well for you.
    Great interview, Chrys. Have a nice weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Aw, thank you so much, Beverly. I appreciate your kind words!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Excellent advice.

    What is it with trolls? Does a bit of success bring out the evil in some people?

    Best of luck, Lisa!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Elizabeth! The topic seems to attract some angry trolls :)

      Delete
    2. I think trolls looks for ways to bring people down. And yes, there are certain topics that get some fired up.

      Delete
  15. What a great book to write! Not the situation of course, but if we can't share those moments and be there in one way or another to others who might feel just as alone then what are we? Finding and offering comfort and support is priceless. Great interview, ladies!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The situation is not so good, but what came out of it...Lisa's book and blog...are great!

      Delete
  16. It is very nice to meet you Lisa. I too have been divorced and there is never a "winner". Glad you made a positive out of it. Have a great weekend and Chrys, thanks for featuring another blogger. It is always nice to meet someone new.
    sherry @ fundinmental

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Sherry, you're right that there's never a winner. We just try to come out unscathed and that's not often possible. Making lemons...

      Delete
    2. Thanks for leaving a comment, Sherry!

      Delete
  17. Fascinating interview. I didn't know there was a blog out there about this topic. It most certainly sounds helpful for those going through this experience.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Medeia. There's certainly many blogs out there on the topic. When I was first separated there were zero blogs. That's a great example of divorce progress :)

      Delete
    2. I really don't think there's another blog out there like Lisa's, which is why I knew I had to interview her. :)

      Delete
  18. It's odd that lots of people ask why people are splitting up, but no one asks why people are getting married. It might be a good thing if that question were asked more.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Excellent point, Patsy! Thanks for mentioning that. :)

      Delete
  19. I haven't gone through a divorce, but I think Lisa's book is a great idea. She's right - most pop culture does paint women as victims who get dumped by their husbands.

    It sounds like a great blog. Thanks for introducing us to Lisa, Chrys.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lisa's book is such a great idea. My sister is divorcing due to abuse but she's the one taking the step and taking action. She dumped him! ;)

      Delete
  20. Thank you for hosting Lisa and allowing us a chance to know about her book, Chrys. I don't have a divorce question. Popped by because my characters are going through it, but I think I've learned a lot. Sadly, it does seem like a stigma for women to get a divorce when there isn't physical abuse involved. I will check out Lisa's blog right after this! Cheers to both of you. xoxo C.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Of course! I knew I had to have Lisa on as a guest. And don't worry...you'll be one of my guests too. I have planned on that! ;)

      Delete

Please tell me what you think. I love to chat! :)

Popular Posts!

Join!

Follow!