tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9133489888936435050.post6789861495070602643..comments2024-03-12T18:52:31.920-04:00Comments on Write with Fey: Writing About: A FuneralChrys Feyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11955009490266358041noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9133489888936435050.post-17940132000244868502013-09-18T17:41:48.402-04:002013-09-18T17:41:48.402-04:00I am so deeply sorry for what you had to go throug...I am so deeply sorry for what you had to go through at Daddy C's and Glenn's funerals. Some people just don't have respect for others and it bothers me that they made such a spectacle of themselves. I wish it could've gone differently because those days, as terrible as they already were, shouldn't had been how they turned out. I'm sorry. :(<br /><br />But I am happy that you find my tips valuable. I just post about things that I have written, because I figured other writers may have to write them too.Chrys Feyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11955009490266358041noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9133489888936435050.post-33955328097996859602013-09-18T17:29:51.231-04:002013-09-18T17:29:51.231-04:00Your always posting such valuable tips, Chrys! Th...Your always posting such valuable tips, Chrys! Thank you!<br /><br />I wish I was making these instances up, but sadly, I'm not. Two of the most dreadful deaths I had to go through were my Daddy C's and my first love, Glenn. Daddy C's funeral was an absolute shit show because his wife at the time was high on drugs and crashed his car that morning with my sister in the passenger seat. They were both okay, but my step-mother at the time was so high that she looked like a complete crackhead. She also tried selling all of my dad's clothes and some of his jewelry back at her house afterwards. Can you believe this? I could go on and on but I will leave it at that.<br /><br />The second funeral was my ex-boyfriend, Glenn's. He was also a dear friend of mine for almost 15 years. At his funeral, his girlfriend at the time (who must have missed the manners bus) was dressed in jeans and like a complete slob. She also told everyone how she was going to drink her sorrows away at some club that night, asking who wanted to go party and celebrate Glenn's death. Again, I wish I was making this stuff up, but I'm not. I could go on and on like how she showed up to his mom's house with no card or flowers, asking for some of Glenn's personal belongings from his bedroom. His mother loved me so much that she told her to sit down. Needless to say, I don't think Glenn's girlfriend was getting anything. There are so many other things that happened that day but again, I'd be here commenting for hours, lol.<br /><br />These two experiences are forever painted in the back of my mind. Someday, things will surface. Thanks for posting this, Chrys! Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14498810090279251726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9133489888936435050.post-37135501700774880502013-09-18T10:03:37.857-04:002013-09-18T10:03:37.857-04:00I am sorry for your loss, Irene! And I thank you f...I am sorry for your loss, Irene! And I thank you for sharing your story with me. <br /><br />I forgot about denial. (Don't know how I did. So I will definitely add it to my post.<br /><br />Thank you for your comment! <3Chrys Feyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11955009490266358041noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9133489888936435050.post-5696291392774999442013-09-18T08:07:54.211-04:002013-09-18T08:07:54.211-04:00"What do you remember the most about a loved ..."What do you remember the most about a loved ones funeral/memorial?" -- Always the emotions, Chrys. The passing of my maternal grandmother 10 years ago was one of the saddest days of my life. I was at first in denial, seeing her photo at the obituaries section of the paper. I went to her room two days after she died and it all felt so surreal that I would no longer see her sleep in her bed. I cried and talked to her. On the day of her burial, I guess God finally helped me learn to let her go because even if I was still sad, a part of me was grateful that her suffering on earth finally ended.<br /><br />Thank you for sharing about these wonderful tips, Chrys! God bless! :-)Irenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10328342211129410370noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9133489888936435050.post-76045652552613654712013-09-17T18:03:37.403-04:002013-09-17T18:03:37.403-04:00In the case of a funeral witnessed from afar, you ...In the case of a funeral witnessed from afar, you would really have to focus on what the character sees, their thoughts, and emotions. I added a bit more to my post to address this, so thank you for mentioning it, Ashelyn! :)Chrys Feyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11955009490266358041noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9133489888936435050.post-43707142433565451162013-09-17T17:14:45.890-04:002013-09-17T17:14:45.890-04:00I've written a funeral seen but it was a funer...I've written a funeral seen but it was a funeral observed from afar, so it was a little different. These are great tips, though. I'll definitely keep them in mind for the future.Ashelyn Drakehttp://ashelyndrake.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9133489888936435050.post-66102071680587884082013-09-17T15:42:36.594-04:002013-09-17T15:42:36.594-04:00Yes, tips #2 and #5 can be useful to help your cha...Yes, tips #2 and #5 can be useful to help your characters (and readers) through the transition even if you don't write about an actual funeral.Chrys Feyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11955009490266358041noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9133489888936435050.post-70416424244871657352013-09-17T15:31:28.845-04:002013-09-17T15:31:28.845-04:00I've not written about a funeral, but I did ha...I've not written about a funeral, but I did have a major character die and had to show the other main character struggling to go on. There was anger, sorrow, and withdrawl.Alex J. Cavanaughhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09770065693345181702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9133489888936435050.post-59434401197111259772013-09-17T13:43:09.767-04:002013-09-17T13:43:09.767-04:00In my series I had to deal with the same challenge...In my series I had to deal with the same challenge, and it was difficult because I just wanted to dive into the next event (like you), but it is important to keep your character's grief for as long as it is needed.<br /><br />Good luck with your upcoming projects! :)Chrys Feyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11955009490266358041noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9133489888936435050.post-8133233654037182092013-09-17T13:03:44.881-04:002013-09-17T13:03:44.881-04:00I agree with having to deal with the grief afterwa...I agree with having to deal with the grief afterwards, and this is something I have to tackle with for two upcoming projects. As much as I want to get on with the action, I know that I'm going to have to slow things down and give the characters time to grieve. Good post!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06317095707905133969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9133489888936435050.post-74425185466193260172013-09-17T11:28:31.430-04:002013-09-17T11:28:31.430-04:00Thank you for sharing that touching story! I am so...Thank you for sharing that touching story! I am sorry for your loss, and at twenty it no doubt would've been devastating, but I am happy that you were able to find peace.<br /><br />I know someone with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, and he is one of the best people I know. He is terribly funny and an inspiration. He's also a writer, Ricky Tsang. He published his first book a couple of years ago titled, "Ridiculous: The Mindful Nonsense of Ricky's Brain", and he is writing his second book, which is about DMD. This is his awareness page: https://www.facebook.com/HopefulDestination?ref=profile <br /><br />And you're welcome for the dream information. I hope it gave some insight. :)Chrys Feyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11955009490266358041noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9133489888936435050.post-57811975552527120482013-09-17T11:15:53.595-04:002013-09-17T11:15:53.595-04:00Great post, valuable information.
The first funer...Great post, valuable information.<br /><br />The first funeral I attended was for a 16 year old boy. He suffered from Muscular Dystrophy, and watching him disintegrate was heartbreaking, when his lungs and heart finally gave out it was devastating. Seeing him in the casket, his body finally straight - was beyond description - I lost it. (I was 20 yrs old) MD destroys the muscle and twists the body into unbelievable shapes. But at the grave site I found peace - I remember the hill we stood on, the view of the valley, the blue flowers and the birds singing. I remember clearly understanding that he was at peace, it was more than a thought-it came from deep inside as though his soul had reached out to mine. He granted me the peace of knowing he was free from pain - happy to no longer be deformed - free. That day, those feelings are what convinced me - there is no real death only a journey.<br />Thanks for the information about dreams!Yolanda Renéehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09085436784133103221noreply@blogger.com