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Wednesday, April 4, 2018

Bactine for Criticism (IWSG)


The Insecure Writer's Support Group is a safe place for insecure writers of all kinds.
RECOVERING: I may or may not feel up to visiting on IWSG Day due to recovering from a tonsillectomy. I will visit as soon as I'm up for it, though.


Getting harsh criticism is tough and is certainly hard to swallow. When you get harsh criticism, you could want to bite back and list all the ways they’re wrong. I have a remedy to stop you from doing that.

Get a dammit doll. My mom made me one years ago. People sell them on Etsy, Ebay, and several other places. There’s even a website: www.dammitdolls.com  

Dammit Dolls are for stress relief.



This is the saying:

“Whenever things don’t go so well,
and you want to hit the wall and yell,
here’s a little dammit doll,
that you cannot do without,
just grasp it firmly by the legs,
and find a place to slam it,
and as you whack the stuffing out yell,
“Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!”

When you get a rude critique or nasty review, hit your dammit doll against your desk. Get out all of your frustrations. If you don’t want a dammit doll, punch a pillow or couch cushion until you’re exhausted.

If a reply is necessary, such as through email exchanges with a critique partner, send a reply back to that critic thanking him or her for their suggestions. Even if you have no intentions of using them. That’s it. Kill ‘em with kindness. In any other case, don't even respond or comment. That's when the trolls come out and you could land yourself in a mess.

Get a dammit doll. That is my technique to staying out of trouble when it comes to nasty critiques.


QUESTION: What do you hit to relieve tension?


RELEASE DAY HELP:

I'm looking for bloggers to help me announce the release of Write with Fey: 10 Sparks to Guide You from Idea to Publication

***The release day announcement will contain the blurb, buy links, cover photo, bio, author photo, and hopefully a giveaway, so you can add it to any post.***

You Choose: Any day from June 5th - 18th




92 comments:

  1. I saw on Facebook you're entering the painful period of your recovery. I hope it doesn't last too long, and you've got a lot of nice treats to see you through!

    That dammit doll is awesome, and I really want one :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was very fortunate. I had a couple of bad nights and a few bad moments here and there, but it wasn't as awful as people said it would be. Thanks!

      Delete
  2. I need one of those dolls :-) Hope you're on the road to recovery. Sounds painful. Happy to help with the release and have filled out the form.

    Cheers - Ellen | http://thecynicalsailor.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for filling out the form, Ellen! I appreciate your help. :)

      Delete
  3. Haha! I love that idea! Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hope you're feeling better Chrys, your "Dammit Doll" is a must for me.

    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm feeling better now. Thank you!

      Delete
  5. I need one of those. I have a stuffed referee that comes apart when you slam him against things which is perfect for football games - and bad calls.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That sounds like the perfect thing to take out aggression during a football game.

      Delete
  6. "Kill ‘em with kindness." Love that! I think I should get a Dammit Doll :-) I hope you feel better soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A Dammit Doll is loads of fun. ;)

      Thanks, Ronel! I a feeling better now.

      Delete
  7. Ha! That doll is neat. It's like a stress ball. To release tension I clean or do some exercises. Mostly clean!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cleaning and exercising are great ways to release stress and both are very productive activities, too.

      Delete
  8. Love the dammit doll!
    Feel better soon!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I love it. I'd probably scare the crap out of Star and Rocket though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! Yes, I did scared my cats once. Now, I go somewhere where I can close a door.

      Delete
  10. I hope you feel better soon.

    What do I do when tense? Usually my tension is self created and to repair the damage I write it out. Vent into the computer until I feel better then delete the entry. :-)

    Anna from elements of emaginette

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you!

      Writing it out is a great way to vent.

      Delete
  11. Feel better soon beautiful girl. https://www.junetakey.com/

    ReplyDelete
  12. I use chocolate and my butt shows it.

    I hope you're feeling better!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I haven't had chocolate since my surgery. I am craving it. :(

      Thanks!

      Delete
  13. I like that doll.

    Wishing you a speedy recovery from your tonsillectomy.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I need to get my son one of those. :) I used to go biking when I was frustrated, just a quick spin around the neighborhood. These days I go find a book. I need to get back to the physical exertion thing. That was so healthy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I miss biking! I haven't ridden a bike in years when I had to get rid of my bike for a move.

      Delete
  15. All this fear and loathing of rejections makes we worried about what will happen when I finally finish my story. I might be too afraid to submit in anywhere.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Loathing rejections and harsh criticism and nasty reviews is normal. Don’t let any of that stop you. Many writers do, and it’s a shame. That’s why I’m providing these tips in the first place...to help with that, to help writers get through these absolutely normal things that we don’t look forward to but will experience. It’s better to know this now than have false expectations, and to be prepared to turn those negatives into positives. That’s what my posts are really about.

      Delete
  16. So funny - I had one of these in my law office for years - gifted to me by another lawyer/writer. Now it will have a place of honor in my writing room. Nasty comments are hard to deal with - one just has to separate from it. I was in a writing class that exchanged work with other students - my critique partner made hateful remarks about a political slant that simply wasn't part of my work. The issue was hers, not mine. Still . . .. Sorry you're under the weather - great excuse for ice cream, though!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Really? That is awesome. I was curious to see if anyone would know what a Dammit Doll is. My Dammit Doll is now on my desk. It used to be there before I moved it for space reasons. Now it's back. :)

      Delete
  17. Hope you feel better soon! As for hard criticism, it's just part of the game. But for every bad review there's several good ones:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great point!

      Thanks, Mark! I am feeling better now.

      Delete
  18. Oh my goodness - a dammit doll. Never heard of it before. I find long walks & hot baths soothe my ruffled feathers. And a glass of wine never hurts. lol I also take what I can (if anything) from the criticism and ignore the rest.

    Hope you're feeling better soon, Chys!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hot baths are my go-to solution at the end of bad days. They always do the trick.

      Thanks, Sandra!

      Delete
  19. I know about voodoo dolls, but not dammit dolls. I hope your recovery goes smoothly, and that you're on the path to healing soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And I want to make it clear these are not voodoo dolls. lol

      Thank you!

      Delete
  20. I've been lucky enough to not have any really hard-to-swallow comments so far. Of course, that raises the fear that it's simply because no one is reading my work! I like the doll, though it kind of freaks me out, too.

    I usually burn off stress in some kind of physical activity--hiking or biking or killing weeds in my garden (always plenty of those).

    Hope you are feeling better soon!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If the doll freaks you out a little, it'll be easier to hit it. LOL!!!

      Using a physical activity to burn off stress is smart and productive. Healthy, too.

      Thanks!

      Delete
  21. I wouldn't be able to do the doll. I would feel so bad hitting it. I'm going to blame Toy Story for why.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You crack me up. But...maybe because they dolls are made for it, they enjoy it? :P

      Delete
  22. I hope you feel better soon, Chrys. I want you to know...that the ellipsis break here was me getting up to punch my pillow for you. I love the idea of a dammit doll. I may have to try that. My sister used to have a punching bag, and I'd honestly like one of those too. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! Thanks for punching a pillow for me. :)

      Delete
  23. I've never heard of a dammit doll! What a great idea. Hitting doesn't do it for me, yelling does! I try not to yell at anyone but into my pillow, or if I'm alone, I yell out loud and then crack up because it sounds so stupid! Great release of tension! If you'll send me what I need, I can post for you on Friday the 9th of June... http://lisabuiecollard.com I think you have my email address, if not, let me know and I'll send it to you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yelling can definitely release pent-up energy.

      Thanks for signing up! I believe I have you'll email address. I'll have to double check.

      Delete
  24. The dammit doll is a great idea! :) I punch pillows when frustrated. It's true that our first reaction to negative feedback is But...

    I will certainly host your 10 Sparks book blurb post. I'll fill out the box.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for signing up for my release day announcement, Lisa! I really appreciate your help. :)

      Delete
  25. Love the idea of a dammit doll!

    Wishing you a speedy recovery from your op.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Feel better soon, Chrys! That dammit doll is such a fantastic idea. I can host your blurb although I don't have many followers...so just let me know.

    Elsie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would love it if you could host me. Thank you!

      Delete
  27. Aww get well soon!!! And LOL love it. I've never heard of the Damnit Doll but it's a great idea. And your idea for the email. Say thanks before tossing out the critique.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's always good to be polite, even if someone wasn't polite first. Thanks, Meka!

      Delete
  28. haha first I've heard of a dammit doll. Fun rhyme comes with it too. I just ignore the trolls. Never feed them. And one has to remember that they will never please everyone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought the Cat would enjoy that rhyme.

      Delete
  29. Hope you feel better soon!

    Like Pat, I never heard of a Dammit Doll either. I just rant and rave usually LOL. That's usually enough for me, I don't need to get "physical." Great idea though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Michael!

      Ranting and raving does work like a charm.

      Delete
  30. I hope you feel better soon.

    There are two kinds of criticism: where the writer is trying to help your book be better and where the writer is feeding their own ego (by putting you down). Ignore the second kind. There is no value there. The first kind... It's meant well, so take it with a grain of salt. There might be some help.

    When I'm criticized, I try to think of it that way. And then I have no need of a damnit doll ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I try to think of it that way, too, but criticism that puts you down can still hurt, even if you try to ignore it. It can still pop into your head and bother you. A Dammit Doll could help with that frustration.

      I once had a critic by an author trying to be helpful who was very rude in her delivery. And used harsh words. So there is a middle ground between those two kinds of criticism. And it’s that kind that hurts the most.

      Delete
  31. Hope you feel better soon. Love the idea of the doll. I could definitely use one of those.

    ReplyDelete
  32. A friend made me a dammit doll years ago. It's pretty cool. Hope you feel better. I think recovery is quick after the first few days.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's neat! You're the second person to say they have a Dammit Doll. :D

      Thanks, Susan!

      Delete
  33. Hi Chrys,

    I do hope you get better soon. Awesome idea for the doll.

    ReplyDelete
  34. What a neat doll. I could use one of those at times. I hope you're good as new soon, Chrys. Congratulations on your soon to be released book.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Beverly! And thank you so much for signing up!

      Delete
  35. My great grandmother made us dammit dolls when we were little. Not sure what happened to them. I could probably use one.
    Hope you're feeling better!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Really? Wow. I love that!

      Thanks, Sarah. I am feeling better. :)

      Delete
  36. I love your idea of a dammit doll. And I hate harsh criticism, so the doll is in order, right? Thanks for the advice.
    Hope you recover soon from your surgery.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome, Olga! And thank you!

      Delete
  37. Darling, I hope you have a speedy recovery. I'm praying for that. I would have trouble destroying such a cute doll, Chrys.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Victoria!

      Don't think of it as "destroying." They hold up pretty well. ;)

      Delete
  38. Dammit dolls are a great idea - ranting and raving without one is how I usually do it.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Hope your recovery is going well. Thanks for sharing your knowledge of the dammit doll. Need me one of those.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am doing much better. Thanks, Toi!

      Thanks for signing up for my release announcement!

      Delete
  40. Feel better soon!!!
    I love that dammit doll! Too funny!
    Big healing hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  41. I trust you are feeling better now. Hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  42. What an awesome idea! I've never heard of a Dammit Doll before, but talk about something every writer needs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We all need something or someway to help relieve our stress, right? ;)

      Delete
  43. Hi Chrys, I dropped by to see how you were doing and to let you know I;ve got a post about Unblocking the Writers- dealing with Writers Block.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Hope you're feeling much better, Chrys! That dammit doll is a good idea though I also think it looks creepy, lol. (Am still recovering from a nightmare yesterday - supernatural elements were involved.) Anyway, I hit "the library" when I'm in a poor mood. It's been proven to be my best remedy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, Claudine! It’s been a long time. I hope you’re good. :) The library is s great place to be to unwind and seek inspiration.

      Delete
  45. Hope your recovery's going well!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Deniz! I am all better now. :)

      Delete

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