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Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Deleted Scene from 30 Seconds


NOTE: I'm co-hosting over at Unicorn Bell. My post is about finding the time to write: Dear Time-Strapped Writer.


Sometimes writers have to delete scenes from their manuscripts that they really like. My editor and I agreed to remove the following short scene because we realized Dani wouldn’t have been allowed to perform the surgery because she would be emotionally compromised. And doctors aren’t really allowed to perform surgery on loved ones, so I said goodbye to the scene.

Just because you have to hit the “delete” button doesn’t mean you can’t keep the scene though! Copy it and paste it into a document so you can later share it with readers, as I am doing now.

Below you’ll find a short (153 word) scene from the end of 30 Seconds.



***SPOILER ALERT!***


       Dani performed the surgery herself and removed the bullet, an ugly, crumpled piece of metal. Blake had been lucky; the bullet hadn’t hit his heart or any of his arteries. She was closing him up when an alarm went off. Her head snapped up and everyone paused to see if the rhythm would return to normal, but it didn’t. The monitor let out a loud scream.
       "He's flat line!" Dani attacked the crash cart at her side. "Clear!" She pressed the paddles to Blake's chest and watched the monitor. "No change. Charge to fifty. Clear!" She watched the monitor, the line continued on and on as though it wanted to go forever.
       "Damn it, Blake! Charge to max!" She glared down at him. "You are not going to die! Do you hear me, Blake? You are not dying!" She pushed the paddles onto his chest and let the electricity course through his heart.


QUESTION: What did you think of my deleted scene?


42 comments:

  1. Hi Chrys ... I'm glad you gave us an inkling of where Dani is at with Blake and the medical situation ... I certainly could see you doing something else with this - another story line ... cheers Hilary

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome, Hilary! Glad you liked it. :)

      Delete
  2. I can see why you wanted to keep the scene - and why you had to cut it. Keeping it is a good idea. I imagine that copying and pasting into another file was slightlty less painful than deleting it entirely.

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    1. Oh yes, whenever I have to delete a scene once I have the story fleshed out to my liking, I save it in a document to share later. :)

      Delete
  3. Do you ever think there will come a time when books are sold with deleted scenes included as sort of an appendix -- like DVD's?

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    Replies
    1. I think that would be awesome! And it would work well with eBooks.

      Delete
  4. I deleted so many garbage scenes from my first Russian historical. About 99% of the original 1993 material was junked or radically rewritten, and though I obviously know what's missing and where, there's no indication anything was taken out, since it works without all that junk. At least they're in a separate file, since I couldn't bear to delete my old material entirely either.

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    Replies
    1. At first I thought you were implying that this scene was garbage. :P

      Delete
  5. I love it, and I too always keep my deleted scenes in a "scraps folder" I can't part with them! :)

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    Replies
    1. Neither can I. Although I have to delete them, I still love them. :)

      Delete
  6. Nice! Very emotionally charged. Sorry it had to be cut, but understandable why.

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  7. It had my heart racing! Very tense. Good call on checking on the reality of Doctors performing surgeries on loved ones. It must be hard for them to let someone else do the job on someone they love.

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    Replies
    1. Yes! I love to hear that I got a reader's heart racing. ;)

      Delete
  8. Great job and very riveting Chrys. I also had to delete a part of my book due to two people that wouldn't sign a liability waiver form. The heck of it was they saved my life. Oh well. I love your writing style. Keep it up. Great job!

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    1. Thanks, Joe! I'm thrilled you liked the scene and my writing. :) I can how you'd have to delete parts if other people don't give consent for you to write about them. That must've been tough.

      Delete
  9. Definitely an emotionally charged scene. I'm sure it was hard to cut it! I'm probably going to have pages and pages of deleted scenes from my WIP once I rewrite the last third. Maybe I'll get to share them some day.

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    Replies
    1. You will get to share them, Sarah! And I'll be right there reading them. :)

      Delete
  10. Love the action! What a good idea. I'll keep that in mind; thank you Chrys!

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  11. Thanks for sharing this deleted scene. Love the action.

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  12. Thanks for sharing the scene you had to delete. I think it was a good one and maybe you can tweak it a bit and use it for a different book?

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    Replies
    1. If I have to write about a doctor again, I could. :)

      Delete
  13. Its definitely filled with emotion! But you are right, she wouldn't have been allowed to do the surgery if she was attached in some way to the patient. I think it was wise to remove it from the book because I probably would have caught it when reading the book and thinking "that doesn't happen in real life."

    betty

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I'm glad you agree that it was the right decision, Betty. :)

      Delete
  14. Great scene! Full of tension and emotion. It's always hard to cut scenes from our novels, but what a great idea to save them for future sharing! :)

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    Replies
    1. I just hate to delete them permanently.

      Delete
  15. Sure quite the intense scene indeed. Pain in the butt when scenes have to get cut

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  16. Totally an intense scene! I get why you cut it, and I agree - but it was cool to read here. I keep all of my cuts, too :)

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  17. I think the scene was intense, and would have been hard to read in context! I do keep anything major I delete, just in case. It makes it easier for me to just do it and move on without quite as much regret. I hadn't thought of sharing it sometime, though!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If I really like the scene, I always save it to share later.

      Delete
  18. I also can see why you wanted to keep the scene, but perhaps it could be used in the future? Hope so.

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    Replies
    1. I may be able to use it in the future. ;)

      Delete
  19. I'm in the "save everything" camp, so I'm sure that scene will come in handy one day.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I think it's a great scene. I'm sure you can find a place for it somewhere else.

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  21. I like the pace! Of course, like you said, it wouldn't be realistically possible for Dani to operate on him because of their relationship. Still it would have made a good scene.

    ReplyDelete

Please tell me what you think. I love to chat! :)

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