Wednesday, May 7, 2014

April Struggles and Insecurities

The Insecure Writer's Support Group is a safe place for insecure writers of all kinds. 


Despite the great time I had participating in my first ever A to Z Challenge...

Photo by Chrys Fey
Despite a fun birthday that I spent at the zoo with my nephews...

I love giraffes! 
Photo by Chrys Fey
Despite Easter which is always a favorite holiday of mine...

Photo by Chrys Fey
April was a very tough month for me.

At one point I felt defeated, as though my life had crumbled beneath my feet. This had nothing to do with writing, but in that moment I suddenly felt like everything was hopeless, like years had been wasted.

That was just the first blow.

I adore bats.
Photo by Chrys Fey
I also faced major financial difficulties. This situation blindsided me and no matter what I did to fix it, nothing seemed to work. On V-day for the A to Z Challenge, I encountered a tiny bit of good luck. At the end of this month I will still be broke, but at least I won’t be homeless in June like I thought I would be.

As for writing insecurities, I got my first 2 star review for Hurricane Crimes in April. I realize it could’ve been much worse, but even if it was . . . it’s just an opinion, one person’s opinion. We all have to remember that.

This gator was huge.
Photo by Chrys Fey
We face many struggles every day, every year, and no matter what struggles come my way I will continue to do all I can to defeat them. I may cry a lot, I may scream inwardly, and I may feel like giving up, but I won’t. Nor should you.

Before I go, I want to say that the only time I was happy was when I was reading the comments on my blog and all the great posts by fellow participants for the A to Z Challenge, so I owe you all a big THANK YOU!!

Photo by Chrys Fey

Now I’ll leave you with this:
"We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope."Martin Luther King
 “When things are bad, we take comfort in the thought that they could always get worse. And when they are, we find hope in the thought that things are so bad they have to get better.” –Malcolm S Forbes 
“What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson


QUESTION: How was your month of April? 


57 comments:

  1. I'm sorry you had such a difficult month, Chrys. But I'm glad that you at least found a bit of good luck near the end and I hope that things will improve for you in May and into the summer. And I'm glad you found some fun through the Challenge during a tough time, I know I enjoyed every visit to your blog. Take care!

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    1. Thank you for such kind words Julie. I'm hoping I don't get any bad news in May, and June is going to be extra stressful. I enjoyed your posts too because they transported me out of my life to a beautiful place. :)

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  2. Hugs to you, Chrys! I'm so sorry that things are tough right now. I think I repeat Forbes' quote A LOT. :) Hang in there. And as for reviews...pfft. The glowing ones are as bad as the nasty ones. They both give a false sense of your worth as a writer. Both are simply one person's opinion, not a judgement of who you are. :)

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    1. I agree. Reviews are just one person's opinion and the only opinion that counts is your own, as the writer. Thank you, River!

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  3. I'm sorry! Wow, glad you won't be homeless. That would've derailed me in April for sure.
    Don't stress the two star review. That person just wasn't your target reader.

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    1. I'm glad too but things will be tough for a couple more months yet. No, that person was not my target reader. I suspect this reader got my story when it was free.

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  4. Sorry to hear you had such a rough month! I understand only too well the panic of financial issues, though not on as quite an extreme level. *hugs*

    Hopefully everything will turn around in May!

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  5. So sorry you had a bad April. I had tough one last year where it was only the thought of The Challenge which kept me moving forward...
    You picked some great quotes.
    Also, here's some perspective. At least you have a published novel for them to review. Mine is still 1/2 written...

    Tina @ Life is Good
    On the Open Road! @ Join us for the 4th Annual Post-Challenge Road Trip!

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    1. The Challenge is what kept me moving. It gave me something to look forward to and lifted my spirits while I was reading comments and posts.

      Hurricane Crimes is a short story, but yes it is published which I'm thankful for. :) I hope you can finish your novel soon!

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  6. Can't please everyone at your sea. And broke, haha I'm so far beyond broke it is sorta funny haha no cardboard box yet though, yippee!

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    1. Nope, and my sea is pretty rocky right now. I hope we both don't end up in cardboard boxes anytime soon.

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  7. Sorry to hear you were struggling so much! And it's okay to cry and scream and mope and worry…as long as you don't get sucked into that stuff for too long. You've got a great attitude, and you will be okay! :)

    Love that Emerson quote.

    Madeline @ The Shellshank Redemption

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    1. Thank you so much, Madeline! I have suffered from depression in the past so I have to work hard to keep my positive attitude.

      So do I. :)

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  8. Sometimes the world falls apart so it can be built anew and better. I'm so sorry about your difficulties. One day at a time, eh? You'll look back six months, a year, ten years from now and see how the awful moments bring out the blessings in our lives. I'm wishing you the best!

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    1. What a lovely way to look at it. I do always say that things happen for a reason, but we might not know that reason for a while. Thank you, Crystal!

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  9. I'm sorry April was such a rough month. Hopefully things start to get better now.

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  10. That sucks about the rough month. I'm glad to hear you got some luck there close to the end. I really hope things improve and keep on getting better!

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  11. This month will surely be better, Chrys! One bad review doesn't define your writing. It's hard to take criticism without letting that 'annoying room mate' in our head mouth off. You know the little voice of insecurity? I'm happy to hear your living situation is okay! The thought of finding a new place to live unexpectedly can be very scary. I was there not long ago. You're amazing and I'm so happy to have met you. Your posts always inspire my writing. Thank you Chrys and hope you're feeling better.

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    1. No, it doesn't. :) Yes, trying to find a place to live when you have no money what-so-ever is very scary! I'm glad it didn't come to that, although I was looking for another place.

      Thank you so much. Lisa! I'm so glad to have met you too and to call you a friend. :)

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  12. Sorry to hear last month was so awful for you. I hope things start on the upswing for you really soon. My parents were on welfare when I was born, and today are somewhere in the bourgeoisie, so I know from personal experience that financial troubles don't last forever, if one is intelligent and determined.

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    1. That's a nice thought. :) I like to think I'm intelligent and determined, so hopefully these troubles will end soon. :)

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  13. Sorry to hear you had a tough April, and I hope things start to look up. Those quotes are really inspiring, thanks for sharing.

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    1. Thank you, Laura. I hope so, too. And you're welcome! :)

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  14. Wow, Chrys, gads that doesn't sound good. I'm so glad things are getting better. Life is hard enough without worrying about important things like where you're going to live. Most of us take that for granted. Best to you, Chrys. I'm silently cheering for you from my corner.

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    1. We do take that for granted. It's when it's threatened when we become grateful for it.

      Thank you, Joylene!

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  15. Chrys, I had no idea April was such a challenging month for you. You seemed to be in such a creative flow and fertile area with your blogging. I'm glad things didn't get as bad as you thought. I share your financial difficulties and had thought things would get worse but as of May they have gotten significantly better. I too found April challenging. I didn't work on my novel much or my nonfiction book, instead I blogged almost every day, much like you. Gradually I am getting my creative energy back to blog more and work on my books. Thanks for this candid post. As always, I wish you well.

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    1. I don't normally let anyone know when I'm going through a hard time. It did help that my posts was all scheduled before April or else I don't think I would've completed the Challenge.

      I am also getting back into writing slowly. And I'm so happy about that! :)

      Thank you, Stephanie!

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  16. I would never have guessed you had all that stress going on. Worry about money really craps the entire day. Glad you're not homeless. I found your blog interesting and uplifting each day.

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    1. I'm glad you weren't able to tell. I especially tried not to let it show in my comments.

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  17. Sorry to hear about your troubles. Financial woes are the worst! Almost as bad as health issues. It's hard to relax or be creative when you're worrying about making ends meet.

    I'm glad things sound like they're on the upswing for you. As for me, my April was…busy. It passed by in a blur. I'm thankful for my notes, because they remind me of everything I accomplished.

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    1. Health issues and financial woes make up my life! lol I agree. When I'm going through a hard time I can't write a thing.

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  18. I'm sorry about your April! I hope things keep looking up for you!

    As far as the review, yes, I've got lots of those now - but there are so many more that like your book! So definitely remember that. :)

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  19. I have you as one of my helpful writing friends on my post today. I hope it is enough to make you smile. I pray everything works out!
    My April was busy at work but other than that all is well.

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  20. So sorry about your troubles. I read your Hurricane Crimes and loved it. I want to read that 2 star now to see what reason was given.

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    1. Thank you so much! :D

      The 2 star wasn't as bad as it could've been. I know it. But it still sucked. The main reason was that the reader didn't know it was a short story, which I found odd since I also make sure to mention it is a short story.

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  21. Financial crises are the big SUCK! And it's terrible to live in that place where you know that if ANYTHING happens, you're going to be stuck. Broke is definitely better than homeless.

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    1. Yes, broke is better than homeless but being broke can make you homeless.

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  22. I'm really sorry to hear you're struggling financially. I hope that situation changes soon.

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  23. I hope your finances turn around soon. Financial worries can suck the life out of everything else.

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  24. Chrys, this was probably one of my favorites of your posts... though I have many! I really connected with your struggles because I know how it feels to be at your lowest. We've all been there.. some of us are still there right now. But you have the right attitude and I know deep down, you have the strength to get through these trials.
    You are a talented and beautiful writer... glowing not only on the outside, but from within. Just look at all of the wonderful comments you get every time you share your infinite thoughts!
    This, too, shall pass. I'm always keeping you in the highest regards and positive thoughts. You are an inspiration to everyone and someday, your name will be in all of the Barnes and Nobles across this vast land!

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    1. Then I'm glad to share this. I was very skeptical because I don't really like to share anything about my private life. I hope I can do more revealing posts in the future, but maybe less sad.

      Thank you so much, Gina! You're such a great friend. You always know what to say to lift me up and make me feel better. :)

      lol I hope so! That would be great! :D

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  25. Wow, Chrys. You really had a crappy month. Worse than mine, I'll say. I really admire you for participating in the A to Z Challenge. What an accomplishment. Hugs and good wishes for a better future.

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  26. Big ((hugs))
    What a month you had! Keep that chin up and keep going. I'm glad you will not be homeless, and hey, they say you hit rock bottom before things look up, right? Well, they're looking up from here on out, my fingers are crossed for that.

    And low rated reviews, pffft we don't write for everybody, that would be impossible. We have our target audience and that is that. Best of luck with everything!

    S.K.Anthony: IWSG

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    1. Thank you, S.K.! I will try to keep my chin up. I'm really hoping that great things are right around the corner. :)

      I tell myself this all the time, and I tell other writers that too, but when it happens it's still a bit of a blow.

      Thank you!!

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  27. It sounds like you have had a large dose of reality--very reality. I'm glad you didn't lose your "home" and that you held on to the positives. That's hard when you're faced with all that you have been.

    Fingers crossed and wishing you the best.

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  28. I sure hope things improve for you, Chrys! You made a great point, reviews are opinions. I think what writers have to do when a review is low, is keep it all in perspective. Sometimes, they're hard to swallow, but they can also improve our writing. Keep your chin up, my dear!!

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    1. Thank you, Candilynn! :) Although I know reviews are opinions, it's still hard me me to keep it all in perspective when a low rating/review comes in.

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  29. Alright, it appears that I've missed more than just reading and writing posts since A-Z finished; I missed an opportunity to pray for you, Chrys but have rectified that right now. I'm so sorry about your situation.

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Please tell me what you think. I love to chat! :)

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